From Darwin to Melbourne, Alessia Allfree says her journey of self discovery highlights the importance of LGBTQI+ representation. Now, as part of Australia’s most-followed LGBT couple, she advocates for visibility, inclusivity, and support for young people in regional areas.
The experience growing up in Darwin was one that helped shape my identity, but not in the ways some might expect.
The population of Darwin in comparison to metropolitan cities is quite small, so in my experience I grew up around people who all thought, behaved and lived very similarly. This had a significant impact on who I thought I was meant to be.
However, who I thought society wanted me to be, and who I truly wanted to be were two very different people. This contrast led me to feel more isolated in my teenage years as I struggled internally with deciding which version of myself to present to the world.
In my childhood, seeing LGBTQI+ individuals in the media and being embraced by the community was rare, and being a lesbian at any of my schools was almost unheard of.
I specifically remember in Year 3, someone told me that “gay means two men like each other and lesbian means two girls like each other.” Naturally, as children do, I wanted to share this newly learned information with my peers. However, after sharing it with one of my close friends, their parents soon banned me from hanging out with them, and I never brought up the subject at school again.
Unknown to me at the time, this was my first experience with homophobia, and I wasn’t even part of the LGBTQI+ community yet — I was simply learning and sharing the labels.
The invisibility of the LGBTQI+ community shaped my perception of sexuality. Without role models or relatable stories from my local community, I simply assumed I was straight because the idea of being anything else never crossed my mind. I didn’t even consider the possibility of being queer until I moved to Melbourne when I was 18.
Moving to Melbourne was a turning point in my life. The vibrant, diverse environment of a big city contrasted sharply with the regional lifestyle of Darwin. In Darwin, a small city where everyone knew everyone and thought they knew everything about you, I felt confined. In Melbourne, no one knew who I was, giving me the space to redefine myself without judgement. I encountered people and stories that helped me understand my own experiences while also presenting me with new ones. With an open mind and without judgement from myself or those around me, I explored these new experiences freely.
The power of representation cannot be overstated. For young people in regional areas, whether they know they’re queer or not, seeing LGBTQI+ representation in media and social media can be transformative. It can bring a sense of belonging, pride, and even discovery (as it did for me).
My journey from a regional town to becoming one half of Australia’s most-followed LGBT couple, alongside my partner Taz Zammit, underscores the importance of visibility. Our presence on social media platforms like TikTok, where we share our lives authentically, has resonated with a global audience and provided much-needed representation.
Through our platform, we aim to offer what I lacked growing up: visible, relatable, and positive depictions of LGBTQI+ lives. We’ve partnered with major brands like Netflix, Tinder, and Apple to amplify our reach and advocate for inclusivity. However, our most significant achievement is creating TeamTANDA, an app designed to foster community, unity, and diversity. This digital space is a haven where individuals can find support and acceptance, regardless of where they are.
Creating inclusive digital spaces is vital for supporting the LGBTQI+ community, especially in regional areas. The internet has the power to bridge geographical divides, offering connection and community to those who might otherwise feel alone. By promoting diverse and inclusive content, we can help young LGBTQI+ individuals see that they are not alone and that their identities are valid and celebrated.
During pride month, we celebrate our progress and reflect on the work still needed to achieve true equality. For me, it’s a time to remember my journey from Darwin, the experience of growing up without representation, and the transformative power of finding community and acceptance. It’s also a call to action for creating more inclusive media and digital spaces that uplift and support every individual, regardless of where they come from.
As we move forward, it’s essential to continue advocating for visibility and inclusivity in all forms of media throughout the year. By doing so, we can ensure that the next generation of LGBTQI+ individuals grow up in a world where they see themselves reflected, celebrated, and supported. Representation matters, and together, we can build a more inclusive world where everyone has the opportunity to thrive.
For full details of Darwin Pride activities visit the website.
Alessia Allfree stands at the forefront of the creator economy. Transitioning from journalism to a digital creator and LGBTQIA+ advocate, Alessia co-founded TeamTANDA, championing diversity and inclusion.
Who you share your bed with is your own business and of NO INTEREST to me. Just LEAVE THE KIDS ALONE.
NO DRAG QUEEN STORYTIMES AT PUBLICLY FUNDED FACILITIES. 🤮🤬