Police Commissioner Jamie Chalker’s executive contract has been extended by the Fyles Government for another four years, with Mr Chalker calling the re-appointment an even larger “shot in the arm” to police morale than his original appointment was back in 2019.

Chief Minister Natasha Fyles was also delighted about the contract extension, telling media in a closed press conference that Mr Chalker had accomplished many things while in the role and that the government hopes he continues “producing the right results”.

“Jamie is one-of-a-kind,” she said. “He absolutely gets what we’re trying to do here and has done his part, if you know what I mean.

“We hope this contract extension will mean he no longer has to go on radio every few months to deny he’s resigning.”

Mr Chalker appeared overcome with emotion during the announcement, choking back tears and rambling incoherently about “the truth” and “invisible enemies” and “anti-vaxxers” who he said had tried to harm him before again claiming he was “humbled” by his self-described achievements.

“Now that the truth has come out, it’s a relief,” he said.

“I told you all when I was first appointed by my friend Michael Gunner that me taking on the role in the environment in which we understood then, that well, well, that morale in the police had taken a solid shot in the arm – and that was humbling for me when I made that comment about myself – that the only way to interpret the engaged environment that we’re in now is to say this is an even bigger shot in the arm for police morale and that I am even more humbled now than I was then when I made those comments about myself back in that operating environment.

“The Territory’s a unique place, I know it inside and out. And I was a bureaucrat for a while there, so it is true, I am a super cop and now everyone can see that. It’s been hard to get rid of some people in the ranks who have integrity but our plan is working out nicely and by the end of this contract the police force will no longer employ anyone with integrity, I can guarantee that.

“Be kind to one another.”

Police Minister Kate Worden said she had no idea Mr Chalker was going to be given a new contract but that she would “go along with it” if it meant she gets to keep her hefty ministerial pay packet.

The CLP also had no comment, in keeping with their internal, unwritten policy not to comment on poor public service appointments by the government.

“We can’t say anything about that because it affects thousands of Territorians every day,” a party spokesman said. “And he might have something on us.”

Outgoing NT Police Association president Paul McCue said he was getting out just in time, adding that it had been a challenge to not criticise the commissioner during his many gaffes over the years but added he had done his part to help ensure a new contract for the commissioner before his own members.

NOTE: This story is one of two April Fool’s Day stories the NT Independent published this year; the other one was about Tiger Brennan Drive becoming a tollway named after Michael Gunner.